Carmel
Hello World
Introducing Cozy Ray Griffiths
Born on the 11 th July 2021
Weight 3.380g
“In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves” - Mya + Jon Kabat-Zinn
When I first met Carmel and Josh I instantly warmed to their friendly and easy-going natures. A happy young couple who are already parents to their adored little boy Jim. A delightful and caring little boy who I always looked forward to seeing on my catch ups with Carmel. His friendly and inquisitive little face always lit up mine in an instant.
I could instantly see Carmel just loved being a mum, she is a real natural and she makes looking after a toddler look effortless. Though when it came to Jim’s birth 15 months earlier, she had a lot of sadness to share with me surrounding how she felt about Jim’s birth. A birth that left Carmel with lots of unanswered questions surrounding her induced labour for ruptured membranes. Carmel was left feeling powerless and fearful, wondering what other options she may have had to help her feel, more in control and of her own body and birth. Husband Josh nearly fainted from all the stress and overwhelm as Jim was being born and Carmel was left feeling very traumatized from her whole birth experience.
“Whenever and however, you intend to give birth, your experience will impact your emotions your mind, your body, and your spirit for the rest of your life”. –Ina May Gaskin
Thankfully, hindsight can be looked at in a positive way. Carmel is not a glass half empty type at all. She saw her last birth as an opportunity to look through another lens to see what could/should, would have been prevented if she had chosen a different path. Carmel now knows what’s important to her in preparing and birthing her second baby. This time Carmel has made some changes. Carmel and Josh are both extremely excited about adding a new little baby to their family. Carmel is determined that she is going to face her fears and not give her birth power away this time. She has chosen to be under the care of the MGP program, and she has engaged in my services as a doula to be part of her birth support team. Carmel has an opportunity to feel confident, reduce her fears, build her knowledge and confidently be the driver of her own birth. Continuity of care with the MGP midwives and myself enables Carmel to feel safe, listened to and respected.
You truly can birth with positivity in hospital or at home, with or without medical interventions. You can have a positive caesarean, or a positive water birth. Positive birth is about approaching birth realistically, having genuine choice, and feeling empowered by your experience.
Giving birth should be your greatest achievement, not your greatest fear.
The Birth of Cozy Ray
Every baby born, gives us a chance to make the world a better place.
On Thursday the 8th at 39 weeks and six days Carmel is having mild sensations. Sitting on the birth ball timing them. They are mild but all between 2- 7min apart.
Carmel has been very diligent performing her spinning babies exercises throughout her pregnancy to help keep her baby in an optimal position. and using acupressure points for comfort and birth preparation.
Carmel’s waters rupture in the evening at around 8.30pm.
Friday 9th of July – Had a good night’s rest in amongst some nice strong sensations. The frequency petered off, but the intensity was stronger.
10.30am I accompany Carmel to her midwife appointment. Carmel shares her intentions of wanting to stay at home while she is in early labour as both herself and her baby are doing just fine. Carmel wants to avoid being pressured from the LGH for unnecessary monitoring or feeling the push to have her labour interfered prematurely like last time. The cascade of interventions has no appeal to my well-informed client.
Carmel has really educated herself on all thing’s pregnancy, labour, and birth, she is aware she options this time around. Knowledge is power and this power as you will read further on truly belonged to my birthing goddess. It is an empowering feeling to feel confident to trust your own instincts and be the driver of your birth story. This beautiful young vibrant mum is setting herself up for a positive birth.
1.30pm Carmel sends me an update. Feeling good surges becoming stronger, hoping they will continue to progress and build in intensity.
I send Carmel a reminder sheet of some acupressure points that are known to help labour progress. Along with her spinning babies and her birth ball she is set.
We decide I will come around about 5pm and we will continue to perform spinning babies and acupressure.
Carmel has a strong intention, a relaxed body, and an open mind. These are the main ingredients for a calm and active birth.
Sat 10th of July - Nothing much happens overnight. I send Carmel a great evidenced based article on pre rupture of membranes: impatience and risk. To remind her of all her options.
Carmel is familiar with pre ruptured membranes as it happened with her first baby. In her words “I want to avoid another circus” and was hoping my waters wouldn’t break early this time around. Carmel appreciates my support. I have her back, I will be here to support her to make her own informed decisions. It’s so important that we support women to have a voice and to be heard by all their care providers.
9.44am Carmel agrees to go to the LGH for a checkup with our awesome midwife Geraldine. She has been great and knows Carmel’s views on feeling pressured into unnecessary inductions. Carmel and her baby are doing famously. Geraldine adheres to Caramels wishes informing the Obstetricians that she will listen to what they say once and then doesn’t want the anxiety of them repeatedly repeating themselves every time she comes in if both herself and her baby are well.
Carmel declines an induction.
Carmel is still having sensations and Geraldine recommends a big walk around the zig zag track. So that’s where she is heading next. Carmel is feeling positive.
We make date for 4pm. I call around for some more spinning babies including the abdominal lift and tuck “a wonderful exercise to make space for baby to drop into the pelvis “and acupressure specific to labour. Josh has been great are helping with the spinning babies and the acupressure over the last few days. This is a team effort.
We have a laugh and enjoy our time together. We all agree we would like Carmel’s labour to take it up a notch. We are all ready to go. The sensations are getting stronger and closer together.
I arrive home and not long after I receive a message “don’t get too comfortable”. Baby Griffiths in on the move. Carmel’s sensations are feeling a lot stronger, and her last surge was” in her own words a real “toe curler “
7.38pm I arrive back to their home. The tempo has picked up. Carmel is leaning over her kitchen bench breathing calmly, my birthing goddess has got this.
We retreat to Carmel and Josh’s bedroom. Where we are welcomed into a tranquil oasis. A ceiling covered in beautiful soft fairy lights creating a magical feel to the room. An Affirmation board displaying positive and inspiring quotes and photos that Carmel has created are also set out on the walls to complete this serene space for Carmel to labour in. What a peaceful room where Carmel can feel calm and loved as she continues to go with he the sensations that are building in intensity. Each one bringing her closer to meeting her baby.
We set up with the aromatherapy diffuser the soft ambience of the fairy lights and our labour playlist softly in the background. For the next hour we support Carmel with comfort measures and optimal birthing positions to help keep her labour progressing and Carmel as comfortable as possible. Keeping Carmel hydrated and offering her jellybeans for a bit of extra energy. I eat more jellybeans than Carmel J doulas need their energy too.
8.53pm. Carmel decides a nice warm shower will be a nice distraction and freshen her up. Josh decides he would like to freshen up with a shower as well. Funny moment “Josh isn’t sure what fresh t-shirt to put on. Carmel in between surges tells him just pick anyone, it’s not important what t-shirt you’re wearing at this stage of the game “.
9.22pm Carmel continues to move her body and work with the waves, relaxing her shoulders and relaxing her heart, she makes room for the sensations to pass through her. Carmel knows this is just energy, seeing it as energy helps Carmel to breathe and just let it go. Every sensation bringing her one step closer to meeting their precious baby.
To continuing to make space for baby, Carmel performs lunges on both sides of her legs while leaning over the birth cub. Then she stands and then sits for a few minutes. When she stands up again, she starts to feel a real pushing feeling in her bottom. This new sensation has happened very quickly. It is accompanied by surges that are very close together and strong. Carmel stands on the steps as we prepare to head to hospital and informs me that her last baby Jim was born 30 min after feeling the urge to push. She feels like she could birth on the steps. I am calm and reply, “well if baby is coming, we can’t stop him or her and we will call an ambulance and then just go with the flow”. I also suggest that if she can make her way to the car, that would be a good plan A. I will follow them, if I see Josh pull over, I will stop to and call an ambulance.
10.05pm Thankfully we don’t need a plan B, we safely make it to the LGH with time. Carmel is roaring, at this stage leaning on Josh and bearing down.
When I spoke to Carmel after her birth, she felt that the car ride had shaken her up. That if she could have just stayed at home and birthed her baby her cortisol levels wouldn’t have risen so dramatically. Though once we were settled she dis regain control and her birth power.
“We have a secret in our culture, and it is not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.”-Laura Stavoe Harm
We do make a spectacular debut, and they hear us coming. We are escorted straight into the birthing suite no questions asked.
Carmel gets up onto the bed on all fours. She then tries leaning into Josh and squatting, she just kind find a position that feels right. We try the birth stool. Josh through all this is such a calm presence and such a wonderful and loving support for Carmel. Carmel does say I don’t know if I am doing this right. She defiantly doesn’t have to worry about that. She calls out the first of many “Oh baby” as she continues to labour and listen to her body.
Just as a woman’s heart knows how to pump her lungs to inhale and her hand to pull back from fire so she knows when and how to give birth. - Virginia Di Oreo
Carmel’s facial expressions shares with me exactly just how hard she is digging deep into her soul, holding on with all her might as she rides through these wild waves of labour. Gosh it takes courage, resilience, and bravery to bring our children into the world. I am powerfully reminded every time I have the honour to witness the intensity of birth ,just how strong a woman in the full throws of labour truly is. Carmen’s orchestra of hormones dance. A dance of pleasure and pain as the connection between mother and baby loop from the brain to the uterus to the baby and back again. Gifting her the ability to continue work with her baby and her body for however long it takes.
The quote, don’t think of it as pain, think of it as an interesting sensation that takes all your attention probably wouldn’t cut it at this stage of labour.
I suggest that Carmel may like to try the gas to help her through the strong sensations. This really brings Carmel back to a space of calmness; she starts to feel like she has taken back the control over the reins of her body. We read our birth poem, praying for a safe passage for both Carmel and her baby. It is at this time Carmel announces she will breathe her baby out.
“Birth is an opportunity to transcend. To rise above what we are accustomed to. Reach deeper inside ourselves than what we are familiar with, and to see not only what we are truly made of, but the strength we can access in and through birth.”- Marci Macari
Carmel finds some easement in her waves from leaning over the birth cub on all fours. We continue to support Carmel with comfort measures, keeping up her fluids and offering those jellybeans again. Cool cloths for her head as labour is hard and hot work.
10.53pm the urges to push return
11.15am Carmel asks for an internal exam as she would like to know how far she has progressed. It is visually obvious that she is well on her way. And that she is. Though she still has some cervix remaining and it has some swelling at the front of her cervix.
11.40am like the trooper that she is Carmel agrees to get up on the bed and into a downward dog pose to help reduced the pressure on her cervix. Carmel finds her inner strength, digging deep to resist pushing with her surges. Using all the tools in her toolbox to resist pushing with the surges.
Breathing in the gas she becomes quiet the comic. Informing us that the gas is making her feel very sassy. Sharing her thoughts on how good it is making her feel and she doesn’t know how anyone births without it. Carmel is very calm and not pushing with the sensations. She is also very funny frequently vocalizing in an almost singing voice that she won’t be having any more babies and that Josh needs to get on the phone and book to have the snip right now.
12.30pm Carmel requests that the gas be turned up and that she would like some green jelly, like she had when she birthed Jim. Our midwives go on the hunt for some green jelly. Unfortunately, it is not on the menu today. At this time, she has shared with us that with some the urges she can’t help but push.
1.08am A second exam reveals that the swelling has reduced, but not completely gone.
She feels like she can’t use her bladder and the urge to push is intense. Carmel’s baby has also descended further down into her pelvis. Carmel is doing amazing.
I am so proud of her resilience and belief in herself to birth her baby.
1.21am Our wonderful calm midwife and a gently spoken female Ob are caring for Carmel tonight. The Ob would like with permission to drain Carmel’s bladder to make space for her baby to descend further down. She also discusses the benefit of trying to push Carmel’s cervix out of the way with the next two sensations with her permission. Carmel agrees.
Carmel was so brave as it isn’t the most comfortable experience having your cervix pushed over your baby’s head. Within two sensations the cervix is successfully encouraged to move out of the way.
This is when the magic starts to happen. There is such a special feeling in being able to participate in creation. As choice whispers in Carmel’s ears, and love murmurs in her heart , she is ready, as here comes life.
Carmel again says “Oh baby “ And with that baby Griffiths is on his or her way.
19 min of pushing and breathing on all fours Carmel is asked to reach down and bring her baby up into her arms. There are tears of happiness and that overwhelming feeling of what has just happened in nothing short of a miracle, to witness the miracle of birth touches all who are present in a very humbling and spiritual way. A healthy bright eyed and beautiful little baby boy has made his special debut. A little bump on his head reminds us he had a bit of navigating to do himself to make his final decent into his mummy’s arms. Carmel has a natural third stage as her births her placenta and does require 1 little stitch.
This time Josh doesn’t faint, he is proudly standing right by his wife’s side. I glance up and catch the sheer joy, love, and overwhelm on Josh’s face as he witnesses Carmel welcome their baby into her waiting arms. All of us in the room are all on an instant oxytocin on high. It’s a boy. Nine months of waiting to fall in love for a lifetime.
She did it! Achieving a positive and healing birth. The power of feeling like a birthing goddess will see Carmel thrive, her face lights up as her smile’s beams. Carmel’s face says it all. No words are needed XX
I am so proud of Carmel; my heart is at peace knowing that one young and vibrant new mum has a new birth story to share. A story that has the power to transform how other women may come to see birth as not something that they must suffer, but that their births can also leave them feeling in awe of their bodies and what they have can also achieve in and through the power of birth.