Kylie
Hello World
Introducing Jasper Edward Howard
Born on the 11/04/2021
The birth story of Baby Jasper.
This is to be Kylies second and her partner Otis’s first baby. Her bright and gorgeous daughter Sofia was born 8 years earlier.
Sofia’s birth had been long and challenging. Kylie’s heart was looking for a different birth experience this time. Kylies first birth helped give her the courage to be more assertive, particularly when choosing the kind of care she desired for her next birth. Kylie had investigated the possibility of a homebirth for this birth, but in the end decided that she would go with the Midwifery Group Practice and engage with me has her doula. Continuity of care and having someone both herself and Otis could also connect with and trust to be their side during Kylie’s pregnancy, labour and birth was of great importance to them.
I was proud of Kylie. All through her pregnancy and labour she made her own informed decisions surrounding her care, based on what she believed to be most important in the safe birth of her baby. Essentially, she worked to avoid unnecessary interventions, enabling her medical care providers to support and view Kylie as an individual, not simply a ‘one size fits all’ scenario.
On our catch ups, what shone the most brightly for me was the love and care that they all shared for each other. It was impossible to feel anything but calm and happy in the presence of these three beautiful souls. Everyone was very excited about the impending arrival of the newest addition to complete their family. The gender of baby Howard would be revealed at his or her birth.
Kylie is a teacher in St Helens. That probably sums up the importance that birth preparation played in Kylie’s pregnancy. Knowledge is power. Kylie, my birthing goddess, was as prepared mentally and physically as she could be for her birth. Waiting in anticipation of knowing birth may begin at any time but not knowing when, can be a test of patience, especially in a culture that looks for any excuse ‘to get things moving along.’
There was many a day leading up to Kylies birth that led her to believe that this may be the day. Kylie was performing spinning babies, doing yoga, having massages, and enjoying long walks including the zig-zag track at the Gorge. All working to prepare her for labour and birth. To give birth, a woman must go to the place between this world and the next, to that thin membrane between here and there. To the place life comes from, to the mystery, in order to reach over to bring forth the child that is hers. We need time and space to prepare for that journey, and somewhere deep inside us, at a primal level, our cells and hormones, mind and soul, knows this, and begins the work with or without our awareness.
41 weeks and 5 days of waiting to fall in love for a lifetime.
“When you change the way, we view birth. The way you birth changes” – Marie Mongan
Wild weather and the thought of travelling from St Helens to the LGH had this family of three locate to Launceston by the time baby was ready to make a debut.
We had a feeling that when it was time it would all happen quite quickly. I was already in labour ward with another client the day Kylie did go into labour. Kylie liasoned between myself and my back up doula Cherie. I was home catching up on some sleep at around 7.30pm on the 10th of April when Cherie messaged me to say, “Kylie’s sensations are getting pretty strong…she is ready for some extra support.” Cherie and I decided that she would go straight to Kylie, and I would get up and get ready to meet them soon after.
Cherie updated me at 8.30pm – Kylies surges had some intensity in them for sure, but she hadn’t been there long enough to know if she was ready to head to hospital. I arrived not long after to find Kylie leaning over the couch, controlling her breathing through each surge, Otis by her side. Cherie had some clary sage essential oil on a tissue for her. We didn’t stay for longer than half an hour as it was apparent that that the surges had intensity and were finding their rhythm.
Kylie, as I knew she would, was doing an amazing job at keeping calm and staying focussed and going with these strong waves that were taking all her attention. I’m sure the calm energy that she was also surrounded by with Cherie, Otis and I helped Kylie continue to just breathe with the surges and not against them. It does take all your control when the waves of labour suddenly ramp up without too much notice.
Your body can stand almost anything, it is your mind that you have convince.
We say our goodbyes to Cherie. Cherie and I both have a feeling that Kylie will birth her baby in the coming hours.
Around 9.30pm we arrive at the LGH. I am not sure where I found the time, but I did manage to hang our circle of love lights over the bed and around the white board with our names on it.
Kylies’ surges have continued to rise in intensity. I read both birth blessings that Kylie has chosen especially for her birth day.
The next few hours I have no timeline of, until 1am.
Every birth I have the honour to attend teaches me something new about birth.
Kylie’s birth truly shone the brightest of lights on how mother nature is a force not to be reckoned with, without good reason. We are just spectators as she dances to her own finely tuned choreography. Often, all we can do is watch in awe of how a birth will unfold.
A loving cuddle and words of reassurance from Otis, Kylie continues to breathe through the waves. Leaning over the bed on the birth cub. Kylie is on a quest to bring her baby earthside.
The bath is a warm and welcoming distraction as we pour water over her back. She breathes slowly and deeply on the gas to assist in relaxation and keeping focussed.
Otis is a very chilled out soul. Otis stays calm and connected to Kylie and his love and care for supporting Kylie never wavers, regularly reminding her of the amazing work she is doing. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I thought the intensity of Kylies contractions may have had the potential to have Otis wondering what on earth is happening here? When you have never seen a woman in labour before, it can be confronting. I feel Otis was just in awe of the bravery and resilience of Kylie, witnessing her working so hard to keep on top of the strong forces that were relentlessly surging through her body.
My birthing goddess was not going into battle but going to the edge of her being where very resource she has will be called on to assist in this journey.
Back out of the bath and leaning over the birth cub on the bed, I am at Kylie’s head supporting her with positive and calm words, offering her water and using soft touch massage on her head, arms, and shoulders, when not gripping on to her and holding her up she works to keep afloat though the intensity of her surges. Otis is rubbing her back and using his calm words of reassurance. Our wonderful midwife Janet was quietly and calmly observing from a distance.
The force and frequency of Kylies surges are off the scale. I nearly came off the bed trying to support Kylie as she leans over the birth cub working with gravity and trying her hardest to surrender to the power of her surges, connecting her with her inner birthing goddess.
Kylie is now also feeling strong urges to push, Janet encourages Kylie to push with those urges if she wants too. Kylie keeps digging deeper, tapping into her birthing power.
Every woman has the power to birth. But you must believe you have power to have power.
And I truly believe that those supporting and caring for the mother help her to achieve this heightened state of bravery and courage to continue to labour unhindered.
Half an hour into pushing, Janet asks permission to examine Kylie. As this is her second pregnancy, Janet would be expecting to see some of baby’s head by now. Janet then asks Kylie if the Obstetrician that is on this evening can come and examine and confirm babies positioning.
We have the loveliest, gentle Obstetrician come in to do the exam. She reminds Kylie of the amazing job she is doing. She also calmly shares with us that her baby has hit the pelvic floor and is being a bit naughty: “Must be a boy.” Tilting his face to the sun, baby may also have his or her hand up by his face. She explains baby is a decent size (as we already know) and if needed, she would assist him or her out.
It is about at this time Kylie has a crisis in confidence, apologising to Otis, that she can’t do it any longer.
Kylies intense labour is exhausting our birthing goddess, the force, and the frequency of her surges has left her feeling like she can’t continue to go on without some pain relief.
Kylies’ senses are also on high alert. It is important that her modesty is protected, and she doesn’t want any unnecessary extra staff coming into the room.
Kylie share with us that she would like an epidural. Kylie, then apologises to us for her decision. Oh, my goodness, we are in awe of you. You know what’s best for you, and you never need to apologise for your choices.
Our minds are one of our most powerful tools. After thoughts of getting some pain relief, Kylies surges kick off to another level. “Whatever you’re doing, Kylie, keep doing it,” says Janet. There will be no epidural. Kylie’s body is that strong that it has completely taken over Kylie - all she can do is hang on. Kylies’ waters I feel must break around this time. Our Obstetrician also quietly lets Kylie know that a paediatrician will silently be at the back of the room and will come and observe baby once he or she is born.
There is a power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through carrying the child with it. - Cheryl Feldman
Kylie has moved onto the bed to birth her baby, reaching deep inside her soul to gather all her inner strength and belief that she can do this. We can all see the light at the end of this tunnel. Kylie, with love in heart will powerfully help her long awaited baby into the world.
Baby then rotates into a posterior position; It’s like Kylie’s body just winked and said, “well just another little roadblock we will challenge you through.” Kylie’s body just kept pushing her baby down with a force not to be reckoned with. At exactly 1am on the 11.04.2021, an adorable little baby made perfectly for his or her mummy’s body made a posterior debut. No stitches or medical instruments needed.
Kylie’s baby is brought straight up onto her chest. Oh my gosh, the miracle of birth takes my breath away every time. Look at what you have made Kylie xxx. The expression on Kylie’s face is one of raw and pure love mixed with sheer relief that her baby is earth side. Her reward is worth all the sweat and tears a million times over. Their gorgeous baby peacefully gazes at us all in wonder. Beautiful eyes taking us all in. Happiness and joy fill the room.
There was some swelling on baby’s head to showcase he had been in a few different positions as he descended. The paediatrician listens every 5 minutes to his heart rate while he snuggles on Kylie’s chest. It looks like baby was born with meconium on his head and body. There is no mention of it out loud at least. Kylie looks to see what she has just birthed. After catching her breath, Kylie is wondering “who do we have here?” Otis replies, “It’s a boy.” Kylie beams: “We have a son.” The biggest smile emerges on both their faces. Love is in the air J Everyone in the room is smiling. The paediatrician continues to observe baby while he stays on Kylie for the next 30 minutes. He is completely happy all is well. This new little family are in a bubble of love xxx
I feel exhilarated in writing Jasper’s birth story. It was an intense labour and birth; Birth really did showcase to Kylie that she is stronger than any fear she may have been harboring about her own abilities. Witnessing this, I felt like we all should have bowed at her feet the moment Jasper was born. What Kylie had just achieved left me with my hand on my heart.
The words of Laura Stavoe Harm sum it all up perfectly: “We have a secret in our culture, and it is not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” Amen to that.
Thank you Kylie, Otis and big sister Sofia for inviting me into your lives to be a part of your empowering and positive birth story I am not sure if I will ever witness a birth quiet like yours again xxxxx Welcome to the world Jasper! Your first breath truly took ours all away xxx
Three becomes four - and like all good fairy tales ... they all lived happily ever after XX
“Knowledge is power and with our babe being 12 days overdue I’m not sure I would have hung in there and birthed Jasper naturally with no inducement or interventions had it not been for Krista and the support of my partner.
Feeling supported and having people around you during birth that make you feel safe allows you to focus all your energy on bringing your baby into the world. Forever grateful to Krista for being there and helping us welcome our beautiful big baby boy Jasper.” – Kylie Lorenz