Sharni
The Birth of Bowie max Heys
Estimated Due Date – 15th of October 2024
Born on the 17th of October
Time 8.17 am
Weight – 3.64kg
Length 52cm
Head- 36cm
"In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves." – Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn
This will be the third time I have the privilege of being with Sharni and Kody as they welcome their baby into the world. My connection with Sharni runs deep, beginning long before she was born. Her mum, Alison, has been one of my dearest and best friends since we were 12 years old. It’s safe to say that Sharni and I know each other very well.
I’ve known Sharni since the day she was born, and it has been such a joy to see her grow from a little girl into a young woman, then a mother, and now an amazing doula. Watching her evolve into the strong, insightful woman she is today has been such a privilege. I’m excited to continue being part of her birth journeys with Kody as they welcome their third child.
Sharni’s birth journey into motherhood has certainly not been straightforward. There have been twists and unexpected moments with each of her births, but that's just the way birth goes—it’s unpredictable, and we never quite know what path we’ll be heading down. With Halle, a water birth seemed like it was on the cards, but her labour took an unexpected turn and Sharni found herself in theatre for a cesarean due to fetal distress. Then came Indi, where we faced meconium, for a second time in her waters and an unexplained bleed during labour. Through it all, Sharni has navigated these challenges with wisdom, bravery, and unwavering strength, ultimately achieving her VBAC after some incredibly intense pushing.
This time, I believe Sharni is well and truly due for the water birth she has hoped for. She and Kody have decided not to find out the gender of the baby, so for most of her labour, we’ve all been guessing what might be tucked away in there.
Since the birth of Indi, Sharni has become a qualified birth and postnatal doula herself, which means she’s already well-versed in all things birth. My role now is to offer emotional support, share in the excitement of all that awaits her, and provide the reassurance that comes with years of experience.
Sharni’s biggest concern this time around has been the heartburn, which has caused her a lot of discomfort, the usual aches and pains of pregnancy and a baby that seemed to take its time getting into a head-down position. But we’ve all been patient, knowing that this little one would eventually find their way into position—just as her other two did, in their own time, and with a little encouragement from spinning babies’ techniques.
40 weeks and 2 days 17th of October
Birth Day
"With each contraction, a new chapter of love and resilience is written."
Around 2 am, Sharni is awoken by her daughter Indi who needs mummy’s help drifting back off to sleep. While squeezing herself beside Indi on the toddler bed Sharni was having a few familiar sensations. After hopping back into her bed she manages to drift back to sleep between them, knowing from her recent weeks of prodromal labour that these might not yet mean labour is fully beginning. Later, she tells me how she focused on staying calm, breathing through each sensation, and not getting too caught up in what might be happening, instead allowing her body to guide her as the night progressed.
At 3 am Sharni’s sensations were feeling stronger and coming anywhere between 8 minutes to 1 and a half minutes. At 3.30 am they had progressed to a regular pattern, around every three to four minutes and she decided to get up and do some of her spinning babies exercises to balance her body and help her baby have all the space he or she needed to move into her pelvis.
Sharni was managing the sensations well and felt no need to use any of her labour tools yet, so she set up some battery candles in the dark living room and kept active by doing hip circles on the birth ball and using her ‘Birth Sling’ to take her weight for lunges and squats. In the quiet and dark of the night Sharni felt calm and at peace with the sensations of labour, taking time to admire the beauty of the city lights from her kitchen.
By 4 am, Sharni was still having regular and intense contractions, she was coping and she told Kody that if he needed to get some work done, he could head to the workshop early. She explains she’s in labour, but it might still be a while. Sharni took this time to freshen up in the bathroom, even braiding her own hair between contractions. Kody managed to squeeze in a few hours before the call came to return home. Kody came home around 6 am. By then, her labour was intensifying, and their girls were waking up, and were wanting their breakfast.
Sharni felt the need to use her TENS machine once Kody was home to help her apply the pads on the back and she began using music with her AirPods to take her into her own zone. Sharni also found her love for using a birth com after her labour with Indi, and so it was a no-brainer to use that again this time.
As the TENS machine has a built in contraction timer, Sharni realised her contractions had become about 30 seconds to 1 minute apart and she knew they needed to head to the hospital. Kody began making the calls to first, Sharni’s mum Alison who made her way over to their house promptly. He then phoned the hospital who told him to come in and that they would have a birth suite ready for her when they arrived.
At 6:30 am, Kody calls to let me know that Sharni is in well-established labour—her body and baby clearly mean business and are on a mission. I can hear Sharni in the background, and she sounds like a woman deep in the rhythm of strong contractions. When I ask Kody how close the surges are, he tells me they’re coming every two minutes. Without thinking, I let out a swear word before laughing and saying, “You need to make your way to the labour ward!”
Kody, knowing me as polite, starts laughing and says, “Krista, did you just swear?” “Yes, I did!” I reply with a chuckle. Once we get over our laugh, we are back to business.
Kody reassures me that the girls are all organised, and I tell him I’ll meet them at the hospital. Sharni is part of the wonderful MGP program, so her midwife will also meet us at the hospital.
7:32 am – I arrive at the birth suite at the LGH and quickly learn which room Sharni and Kody are in. When I walk in, I see Sharni, hair perfectly braided, squatting, her hands firmly resting on the bed for support. She has her tens machine on, her air pods in, her music grounding her, and she is breathing deeply and powerfully through her surges, which are now only a minute apart. My heart swells with pride for Sharni—my birthing goddess. This labour feels vastly different from her previous births; her body is on a mission, moving with precision and purpose, fully knowing where it’s headed.
7:36 am – Sharni looks at me and says she can feel a lot of pressure in her bottom. She can feel her baby descending. I squat down and give one double hip squeeze which Sharni calmly says to me did not help by this point of labour. There’s only enough time for a quick dab of calming birth oils on her temples before the surges demand our full attention again.
I keep reassuring her, telling her how incredibly well she’s doing. “You’ve got this, Sharni. What you’re feeling is powerful, but it’s not bigger than you. This is your birth, and you’re the driver.” There is a quote that says, “Wherever the mind goes, the body follows”, it becomes clear in Sharni’s case, that her body is already leading the way, and Sharni is pouring everything she has into keeping up. And she is xxx
We’ve requested a room with a bath as Sharni wants to use the bath for pain relief and to birth her baby in the bath. While we wait for one to become available, Sharni moves between squatting and standing, leaning over the bed. The sensations are taking all her attention. Kody and I offer quiet words of reassurance and a comforting touch, holding space for her in these moments. She isn’t alone; we’re here with her, making sure she stays hydrated and supported throughout her labour.
7:47 am – We are finally able to move into a suite with a bath. The midwives have kindly run the bath, so it’s ready for Sharni to slip into immediately. Sharni’s hips are aching, and we hope the warm water will offer her some relief as we help her into the bath. By 7:55 am, Sharni is submerged in the warm depths, and I can see some of her tension melt away. Labour is hard work, and Sharni’s surges are strong and
close together. Sometimes, we don’t realise how strong we truly are until life places us in the ultimate test.
With the TENS machine now removed, I hand Sharni the birth comb, set up the diffuser, and played some soft music. It could almost look and smell like a spa retreat, but I’m certain Sharni doesn’t feel like she’s at one. Her baby is moving down even further, and now it’s Sharni’s turn to swear.
"In birth, we find the courage we never knew we had and the strength that was there all along." – Marcie Macari
8:02 am – Sharni loses her mucus plug. Amid the intensity of her labour, there is a moment of stillness. Her eyes close as she quietly speaks of the pressure she feels, finding calm in the midst of the storm. I hold Sharni close; I am feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Everything she has worked so hard for – to birth her baby without interventions – is unfolding before her. The connection she has with her baby is so clear, a quiet reassurance that they are in sync. Her little one remains content throughout, and our lovely midwife, ever so calm, takes a quiet, hands-off approach. She listens to the baby’s heartbeat, offering soft words of encouragement to Sharni. Kody stands nearby, a steady presence. His unwavering love surrounds Sharni, his belief in her strength and ability to birth their baby on her own providing the calm she needs. I can feel the depth of his support, a silent strength that anchors Sharni as she prepares to bring their child into the world.
"When a woman gives birth, she has to reach down inside herself and give more than she thought she had. The limits of her existence are stretched. There is a moment when every woman thinks, ‘I can’t do this.’ If she is lucky, she has a midwife, a doula, or her mum to whisper in her ear, ‘You are doing it.’ As she does it, she becomes someone new: a mother." – Pam Udy
8:10 am – Sharni is now fully immersed in the intensity, pressure and power of her labour. She’s focusing on letting her body guide her baby down, resisting the urge to push until her body takes over and she can no longer resist. In this moment of transition, Sharni asks for help, their baby is coming and would be feeling overwhelmingly intense. At this time her legs start to cramp with each surge. It’s that pinnacle moment in labour when both her body and mind feel like, "I can’t do this anymore," yet she pushes forward. I softly remind her, "But you are. You’re doing it." And she is – giving everything, guided by the power of her own body. We are here, offering our support, but she alone is bringing her baby into the world.
A few more swear words, and some horse lips to keep control and release the tension, Sharni instinctively shifts into a lunge. “No, no, no,” she says, I can’t do this anymore as the intensity rises, and she says “stinging“. Sharni instinctively places her hand on her perineum to hold her baby’s head. Unbeknownst to us, her baby’s head is crowning, as she says, “I can’t do this anymore”. Sharni knows her baby’s head is there, but has no energy spare or words to share this detail, with one final powerful
surge, Sharni gives everything she has left, and at 8:17 am, their precious baby is born.
Sharni reaches down to her baby, guided by the midwife’s calm words, "Bring your baby up into your arms." In that instant, everything shifts. The room relaxes, smiles appear, and love fills the air. We have just witnessed the power and miracle of birth – what an honour.
Sharni takes a deep breath, her smile growing as she looks down at their precious baby, feeling the relief and joy flow through her. The midwives quietly check on their little one, while Sharni cradles the baby in her arms, a warm towel gently covering their baby.
At 8:19 am, we asked Sharni, “Who are we meeting?” The midwives smile warmly, saying, “You did all the hard work, Sharni. Why don’t you check and tell us all who we’re meeting?” Sharni gently lifts the towel, her eyes lighting up as she looks at their baby. “It’s a boy,” she says, her smile widening even more, and their little boy responds with his first cry, before calmly just chilling out on his mummy again.
He’s calm, content, and peaceful in his new world. Tears fill Sharni’s eyes as she looks up at Kody, his face glowing with pride and joy. It’s a beautiful moment, full of love.
I can’t help but smile as I watch Sharni holding her son, and Kody’s face lights up with pure happiness, knowing he’s now a dad to a little boy. There are hugs all around.
After a few minutes of contracting Sharni feels her placenta coming down to be born by an intervention-free third stage. With a gentle push and some gravity standing in the bath, the placenta is born intact.
Once Sharni moves back to her room, she’s feeling so good. I make her a warm Milo and heat up some Nepali rice pudding to help build back her energy.
Sharni is about to be checked by a registrar to see if she has any tears or grazes. Our happy, over-the-moon birthing goddess, who is feeling so great after her birth, is about to face some terrible pain. She needs a few stitches, and for some reason, the pain relief just doesn’t numb the pain. Poor Sharni is so distressed, and it's heartbreaking to see her suffer like this. I feel it too, as does our midwife. Sharni is so upset, but we’re all so relieved — no one more than Sharni — when it’s finally over.
Then, back to her sunny and happy self. Sharni starts to feel better again. We take photos, and baby Bowie is weighed. Sharni then FaceTime’s her family to share the exciting news that they have a son.
Sharni has a shower to freshen up and then, in true Sharni style, at 1:47 pm, she’s putting on her makeup, ready for more photos. By 2:09 pm, Sharni and Kody are heading home with their baby son, Bowie. There will be two very excited big sisters eagerly awaiting to meet their new little brother very soon.
My heart is overflowing. I am so incredibly proud of Sharni. She brought her baby into the world exactly as she had envisioned. Birth is such hard work, but in the most challenging moments, there's an overwhelming sense of pride in the bravery and strength we discover within ourselves. This time, Sharni’s waters didn’t break early in labour, and there was no sign of meconium. They broke when she was in the bath, everything fell into place. A powerful and straightforward physiological labour, unfolding just as it needed to—full of resilience and determination.
I’m sending all my love and best wishes to Sharni, Kody, Halle, Indi, and little Bowie as they step into this beautiful new chapter as a family of five. It’s been an honour to be invited for a third time to share in their birth journey, and I feel incredibly blessed to witness the joy of their children growing and their little personalities shining through. Each holds a special place in my heart, and I’m so grateful for the love and joy they bring into my world.
Love,
Nanny Doula xx