Heather
The Birth of Jasper Elliot Bridgman
Born on 15.7.2021
At 7.46 pm
Weighing 3.54kg
This is the second time I have had the honour of supporting Heather, as she welcomes one of her babies into the world. Heather and I have a special connection as her daughter, Eadie (who has just turned 5), was my first official doula baby born after I finished my doula training and trainee births. Eadie is just a delight - an effervescent, sparkling little energy of sunshine. I can see why Heather wanted to expand her family and welcome another beautiful baby into her world.
The birth of Jasper Elliott as seen through my eyes.
“Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything.” – William MacNeile Dixon
It is a week before Jasper’s debut and Heather’s blood pressure is on the rise. Fortunately, tests reveal that she has not developed pre-eclampsia, but pregnancy gestational hypertension still needs to be monitored.
Three days before the birth of her baby, Heather is having a meeting with her care providers at the LGH. I am on audio so I can be a part of the discussion.
There is concern that Heather’s baby needs to be born sooner rather than later. We are all working together to devise a safe birth plan, as Heather’s blood pressure does not give us a lot of time to wait for spontaneous labour to start. Heather agrees to a pelvic exam to shed some light on her baby’s readiness to be born, as we are moving close to 40 weeks of pregnancy. Heather has also been experiencing some tightening. We have an extremely supportive Obstetrician, Maria, who is aware of Heather’s desire to try for a VBAC. Maria performs an exam to see if Heather’s cervix may be ready for an induction, with the help of a balloon catheter to try and encourage labour. The examination confirms that Heather’s cervix is long and shut tight. Basically, her body has no intention of birthing her baby just yet. Ultimately, this means an induction would not be the way to move forward. Maria also looks back on Heather’s notes from when she birthed her first baby, Eadie, and finds that she has a very small pelvis. This fact may have contributed to Eadie getting stuck in her pelvis. In this case, Eadie benefited from a cesarean section to help make her debut, as she simply refused to come on her own after two hours of Heather pushing.
In creating a new birth plan, Heather needs to consider her current high blood pressure. The amniotic fluid around her baby is low, which could be a sign that her blood pressure is affecting the full functionality of her placenta. Consideration also needs to be allotted to the fact that Heather’s pelvis is on the smaller side. Heather’s well-being is important, and she is aware that her blood pressure is concerning as it can change very quickly. For the moment, medication is helping to bring it down. On a positive note, this little baby boy is very happy.
We all discuss the pros and cons of VBAC births as this is what Heather was aiming for with the birth of her son. We also start looking at the benefits of a planned cesarean, as it may be the safest option for Heather’s personal situation to safely birth her son.
Birthing your baby may happen vaginally, or by caesarean; both require strength and courage, and my birth Goddess has both xx
It is always hard, emotionally, to let go of something that is important to you, for reasons only you can truly understand. Heather had planned and prepared herself to attempt a VBAC, yet birth can really throw us some curve balls. This is when we start to find inner strengths that we didn’t even know we possessed, even before birth begins.
Heather will be able to sleep on the conversations we have had with the Obstetrician and make decisions in the morning, being that her blood pressure does not reach dangerous levels. Of course, neither of us sleep peacefully, we both tossed and turned in our own beds all night, running all the different scenarios through our heads.
Heather and I again discuss her options. She is a rational and sensible woman and though it was her wish to birth vaginally, she will work on making peace with the knowledge that with all the cards that have been played on the table, a cesarean birth is the safest option for both herself and her baby.
“Birth is about radical, creative, life-affirming change. It is about adaptation on a nearly unbelievable scale.” – Mark Sloan.
Although this is not the way Heather had hoped her birth story would look, she will bravely think of the positives and focus on the joy that awaits her.
Not everything in life goes to plan. Heather didn’t choose to have a C-section - she chose to do whatever it took to ensure both herself and her baby were healthy and safe.
Heather wakes up with a cold. There will be no caesarean until she is cleared of covid. Thankfully, the test comes back negative.
Heather and I prepare a birth plan with careful contemplation about what is important to her. We don’t focus on what we can’t control, but we do throw all our energy into what Heather does have control over, to ensure she can experience a positive birth. Her Obstetrician is very pro-mother and baby and loves all of Heather’s birth wishes, including delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin and having our own relaxing music playing in the theatre. Jasper’s birth is not an emergency, and they expect no problems. If baby is well, and his cord is long enough, they will place Jasper on Heather’s chest straight away, while his cord remains intact.
We prepare for Thursday and get excited at meeting Heather’s baby boy. She is on the emergency list, which means we must wait for a space to be available. 2 pm is a time that is mentioned as a possibility to head to the theatre.
15.7.2021
I receive a message from Heather at 11 am saying, “once your nails are finished, come up to the hospital. I’m now scheduled to go to theatre 1 pm.” (I decided that morning to have my nails shortened and painted ready to meet baby Bridgeman) I am a funny doula sometimes J. I say to the nail technician, “no time to finish them, I must get myself to the LGH for a birth!” The nail techs rally around in a mad rush to get my nails looking half-decent before I leave. I race home, change clothes and make it to the hospital in good time.
Just like birth, hospital timelines can be unpredictable. This weather that has rained on our parade today has meant road accidents and emergency operations. We are pushed back. The waiting game starts. Heather has a message group that consists of her parents and some close girlfriends that we keep updating. They are all very excited and keep close by their phones so as to not miss the birth announcement.
We wait and wait. Our beautiful midwife, Brianna, and our Ob also wait to be called and are diligent at seeking explanations for our long wait time. As Heather has been fasting all day, she is starting to feel the effects of no water or food. At around 4.30 pm we are told that if we are not called by 5.30 pm that it would be best to postpone the birth until tomorrow so Heather can eat. Our disappointment starts to sink in when we witness the clock tick past 5.20 pm. Suddenly, Brianna walks in and announces: “you’re up next, you have been called!” We can’t believe it; we are so excited. I update the message group to let them know we are going to have a baby soon. Then, we wait once more while the tea lady comes around with Heather’s dinner. We are left wondering, “are we are going to theatre, or have we been pushed back again?” The tea lady isn’t sure, so she takes it away for now. Finally, at 6.18 pm, they come for us. We hold our breath as we are still expecting them to say we aren’t going. Everyone is gowned and masked up. Even though the covid test had come back negative we still wear masks and protective clothing as a precaution.
We are finally on our way. After the epidural is inserted, Heather is trying her hardest to take calm, deep breaths to control her thoughts and nerves. We have some relaxing music playing for a gentle distraction - helping to bring some normality and serenity into Heather’s birth space. Naturally, Heather is feeling a bit anxious. I am doing my best to help her relax as much as she possibly can. Any of us that have had the privilege of supporting women through their births, understand the power of the mind. Your body truly can withstand almost anything, it is your mind you must convince.
Heather’s cesarean is taking a little longer than expected. It continues at a slow and steady pace due to her bladder acting stubborn – unwilling to move out of the way. Heather can feel all the tugging and the pressure in her stomach as Maria works her way through the layers, finally finding her way to her destination. Heather’s emotions must be swirling and dancing around in her head. Love and joy will now completely take over after murmuring strongly and deeply in her heart. My brave birthing goddess knows it is time. She is ready: here comes life. I stand up to witness the first, fleeting moments of the miracle that is birth. The sweetest little baby boy sleepily makes his debut, seemingly unaware he has just been born. Maria announces, “he is still asleep.” Heather speaks, and at hearing his mummy’s voice, Jaspers's soul is awakened. He lets out a cry. Maybe he is saying “I’m here mummy and I can hear you.”
After delayed cord clamping, Jasper is lifted onto Heather’s chest and into her loving and waiting arms. Love is in the air and both our eyes are glistening with tears of happiness that soon roll down our cheeks. These moments are sacred and there are no words to truly express how a mother feels the moment her eyes bask at the beautiful baby she has created.
After some adoring cuddles, the paediatrician would like to take Jasper to check him over. Jasper isn’t too happy to be separated from his Mummy. Yet shortly after, he receives two big ticks: not only is he a gorgeous-looking baby with brown, wavy, hair, but he is also a healthy and pink bundle of perfection. Our midwife guesses Jasper is around 4kg, while I guess 3.8kg. We are over-generous, as Jasper’s weight comes in at 3.54kg.
Jasper is reunited and back where he belongs with his mummy. All is how it should be again. Both of them drink up the love they have for each other.
“The instant of birth is exquisite. Pain and joy are one at this moment. Ever after, the dim recollection is so sweet that we speak to our children with a gratitude they never understand.” – Madeline Tiger
Recovery
Unfortunately, Heather is in a lot of pain when we return to her room. Getting her pain management under control sadly takes too long. On the plus side, Heather is now able to enjoy a meal after having not eaten all day. In her own words, the meal contains “the best sandwiches and crackers she has ever eaten,” all washed down with a milo.
Heather’s birth may have looked different than what she had first imagined, yet, with every birth comes uncertainties and unpredictability: we never truly know the path we may need to take. We feel most of the benefit from being supported and educated on our options, ensuring informed decisions can be made, however difficult they may be. This includes having the courage to take the higher ground if needed.
As I mentioned previously, not everything in life goes to plan. I believe sometimes there is a good reason for this. In hindsight, if we had had a crystal ball, we would have all seen that the choice of a calm and planned cesarean was the right path for Heather and Jasper.
Heather’s Obstetrician explained after Jasper’s birth that Heather had made the right decision. Jasper was not engaged in the pelvis. He had the cord in front of his head, and this was preventing him from descending any further down into the pelvis. Sometimes the body protects itself. The Obstetrician also explained that if Heather had gone into labour, she would have had a cord prolapse that would have ended in a true emergency cesarean. Jasper moved back up into the abdomen at birth and needed to be guided down with the forceps, he also had low fluid around him, and meconium was present. All of this would have made for a very stressful birth if it had not been planned the way it was.
As it was, Jasper experienced a very peaceful and stress-free birth. At the end of the day, this is all the information Heather needed to make her heart feel at peace with all her birth had asked of her.
Congratulations Heather on the birth of your gorgeous son, Jasper Elliot.
Thank you for again trusting me to be by your side as you welcomed your second precious baby into the world. I feel so privileged to have had this honour of being with you xxx
May you always know, little one, that you were wished for, and longed for, you will be forever loved. I know you are going to have a wonderful life.
The meaning of the name, Jasper: “The bringer of treasure.”