Dani
The Birth of
Dawson Richard Poke
Born 10.06.2022
6 pounds 12 ounces of pure cuteness
52cm long
Dani and Dalton are so excited about becoming parents for the first time, as well as feeling slightly nervous about labour and birth. I reassure Dani that everyone feels a little nervous when they are about to embark on the greatest, emotional, and physical journey of their life.
Giving birth and being born as a newborn mother is the biggest transition a woman will ever make. Dani will be at her most vulnerable, but also at her most powerful. I have no doubt in my mind, that Dani will dig deep and find her unique birthing goddess power. Dani is very well versed in labour and birth, well supported, and feels safe with who will be surrounding her on her baby’s birthday. Dani my beautiful girl…You have got this!
Dani has been so proactive in educating herself on all things pregnancy, birth, and labour. Dani knows all her options and feels confident in making her own informed decisions in relation to her pregnancy, ensuring her care providers are aware of what is important to her and how they can best support her on the day her baby is born. Dani has also taken great measures to keep fit and healthy throughout her pregnancy, engaging in all the spinning babies’ exercises and the miles circuits to provide comfort and to support optimal positioning for labour. Enjoying long daily walks with her beloved dog, Albie, throughout her whole pregnancy.
Not even a curveball could keep this wonderful young woman down for long.
One of Dani’s greatest achievements thus far was successfully turning her baby that decided to present breech at 36 weeks, religiously performing the spinning babies’ program specific for turning breech babies. Dani, you are already a superstar in my eyes.
The Birth of baby Poke, born at 41 weeks and 1 day
Birth is a rite of passage of women. Their journey should be honoured, their rights should be fiercely protected, and their stories should be shared. - Marcie Macari
Prodromal labour teases Dani in the weeks leading up to her birth, with niggling back aches and a low baby putting pressure on her pelvis. Dani feels mentally and physically put to the test daily.
Her sensations start and then stop. Leaving Dani not knowing when it’s her time.
In true Dani style…she just smiles and soldiers on.
8th June - Wednesday night, Dani again experiences labour sensations that have enough intensity to command her attention during the evening and into the early hours of the morning of the 9th. Exciting news, Dani also loses some of her mucus plug, though the sensations fade out by morning.
In Dani's style, you never hear a word of disappointment, as she takes off for a walk with Dalton and Albie “their fur baby golden retriever”. Dani seems to me like she has complete
faith that when the time is right, her labour will start.
Dani asks me after her walk, what else can she do to encourage her labour to start again. I recommend that she could engage in the spinning babies’ three sisters’ exercises and run through the miles circuit. If her sensations start back up again, Dani and Dalton could engage in the spinning baby abdominal lift and tuck. This exercise facilitates space in the pelvis and helps baby to reposition their little heads into an optimal position to help labour progress. Bingo! The lift and tuck seem to be the last piece of the puzzle that the baby needed. Labour has now found a rhythm and Dani is finally on the birth journey to meet their precious baby.
I receive my last call around 10 pm on the 9th of June to say sensations are ramping up. I am on my way to their home. This is the time we have been patiently waiting for.
9.55 pm I arrive at a quiet, serene and welcoming home, with dim lights and a candle glowing softly on the coffee table. Dani is sitting on the couch breathing calmly through her sensations with her trusty tens machine, while Dalton and Albie are both keeping a close watch.
After having a chat and observing Dani’s sensations, I set up the fairy lights, diffuser, and our background music. We heat up the wheat packs and slather Dani in essential labour oils. We are set for the evening. As we will all be night owls tonight, Dalton and I do some tag team sleeping so that we can be at our best to support Dani, who will be labouring through a slow and hopefully peaceful and calm night. Dani and Dalton are both more than ready to meet their baby, feeling positive and excited for the journey that awaits them in the hours to come.
Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care but give your heart as well. - Mother Teresa
1.36 am In the still of the night, Dani’s sensations are really starting to pick up in intensity. Lollies, heat packs and leaning over the kitchen bench are all helping Dani to keep up her energy and move with her body. Double hip squeezes and massaging her back and hips help to keep her as relaxed as possible.
2.43 am Dani is really embracing her birthing power and all that her hormones have to offer, to keep her on her positive and empowering birth journey. Dani breathes calmly through each sensation, using her breath to go with the waves and not against them.
Back to the couch for a rest. For half an hour Dani’s sensations stop. I suggest she just close her eyes and have a rest. Dani tried her hardest to rest, she managed 30 min before her body decided it was game on again. Thankfully, Dalton woke up, and the sleeping beauty doula fell asleep with Dani on the other couch and stayed asleep for a bit longer. I woke to Dani working hard back at the kitchen bench with Dalton lovingly supporting her through each one of those productive waves that are bringing her one step closer to meeting their baby.
It is visible that Dani is in established labour. Dani’s words: “you know those other sensations I was having the other night that I said, ‘this is labour, the sensations are stronger than the times before?’ that wasn’t labour sensations. This is labour sensations.”
By 6.22 am Dani’s sensations are consistently between 3-5 min apart, lasting for a minute or more and taking all her attention. To us caretakers, Dani is making this business of bringing life into the world look so achievable. It is easy to see that the knowledge of how to give birth without outside interventions lies deep within Dani. “Successful childbirth depends on the acceptance of the process."
It is at this time we garner some insight into how Dani is really feeling - very tired and emotional. She announces that she is very proud of everything that she has been able to achieve up to this point but has concluded that she would like some pain relief.
I also feel Dani is ready for a change of scenery. We offer some positive words to reassure her that she is doing just amazing, while also honouring how she is feeling. We decide this is the perfect time to call to the labour ward to let them know we are coming in!
"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. it's that women are strong."
-Laura Stavoe Harm
7.24 am Dani and I are all in the foyer of the LGH waiting inside, while Dalton sorts out his parking meter. The things you really don’t want to be doing when you want to be with your partner who is in labour. A nurse encourages us to leave Dalton behind to find his own way up as Dani was clearly in established labour and feeling very emotional. There was no way we are leaving without Dalton.
7.45 am We are now settled into our room and have recreated the calm space we had at home.
Dani is labouring in optimal birthing positions, finding that on all fours on the birth, cub feels good for now. Loving her tens machine, we have heat packs, massage, positive words of support and a lot of love in the room. Dani has a birth plan and is aiming for an undisturbed and physiological birth. The aromatherapy oils and diffuser are filling our senses with peace and joy, and fairy lights and soft music in the background complete this beautiful ambience of the safe birthing space I want for Dani. Dani has conceded she is now feeling positive again and does not want even the gas to help her now.
“the knowledge of how to give birth without outside interventions lies deep within. Successful childbirth depends on the acceptance of the process."
Dalton is a constant loving presence and %100 devoted to caring for and supporting Dani. His love and undivided attention to doing all he possibly can to support Dani is a credit to this young man. We also have an incredibly supportive team of young midwives that also want to help Dani achieve her personal birthing goals.
As we have one very happy baby and a labour that is progressing just perfectly, Dani well and truly has all her options open.
7.45 am – 9 am We continue to support Dani in labour. Dani always labours in optimal positions, even lunging when I ask her, to make some extra room for the baby as he or she descends through the mid-pelvis. Dani is feeling emotional again, missing her sister Cait, who left for a pre-planned holiday days before Dani was due to go into labour. A message to let her know that the baby is on the way makes Dani feel a little less sad that Cait won’t be meeting her niece or nephew until she returns home. Dani again focuses her energy on birthing her beautiful baby.
Dalton and I keep up the water and Hydrolyte to Dani, so she doesn’t get dehydrated. We also offer her whatever jellybean colour she would like for energy. “Dawson if you are reading this one day? Mummy likes the yellow ones.”
Somewhere around this time, Dani decides she would like to try some gas for pain relief. The gas really seems like it has given Dani a new lease to keep her going. Our midwife describes the gas perfectly: “If you like it, the gas makes you feel very relaxed like you have just enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine.” I had suggested the gas earlier, but Dani said “I was being a martyr, I would have tried it earlier if I knew it was this good.”
The combination of Dani’s support team, the tens machine, the acupressure comb, essential oils and the gas could be referred to as the perfect labour cocktail. Our birthing goddess keeps on riding those waves one sensation at a time. You are a superstar, Dani; I am so proud of you xxx
Dani’s sensations are around 1 min apart now and she is feeling a lot of pressure. A moment that makes me smile - Dani asks me if she is in established labour yet. There is no denying that you are well on your way my beautiful birthing goddess.
I’m thinking maybe we all have that moment of doubt somewhere along our birth journey, asking ourselves, “Is this really it?”
It feels surreal. Nine or more months of waiting to meet your precious baby. Wondering, “what will they look like? Will I be meeting a son or a daughter?” Hands down, this is the biggest moment of your life, emotionally and physically.
Dani is feeling extremely tired, leaning and swaying into Dalton as she continues to bravely ride each one of those waves with all the energy and confidence she can muster.
A woman in Birth is at once her most powerful, and most vulnerable. But any woman who has birthed unhindered understands that we are stronger than we know. - Marcie Macari
10.15 am Dani is working extremely hard, making use of all the comfort measures we have to offer her. The doppler is showing that the baby has a slightly elevated heart rate for the first time. Continuous monitoring is on for a short time until it is established that the baby was probably just wriggling around. It is confirmed baby Poke is still very happy.
Dani is back on the birth cub breathing beautifully. The intensity and the pressure are building strongly and steadily. Dani, out of the blue, announces that she is feeling so tired, and it comes to fruition that she is doubting her ability to continue. Dani tearily announces that she wants an epidural.
We are all taken aback and startled a little - we didn’t see this coming at all, Dani looked unstoppable, quietly going with whatever her body was asking of her.
Ultimately, this is Dani’s birth and her choice. Her mind is not on the same page as her body at this moment in time. We also have a few comfort measures in the toolbox we have yet to make use of, plus the knowledge to navigate this crisis of confidence before moving to the epidural. We have yet to use the new bath in our room that Dani was keen to try. Dani was originally hoping for a water birth. The bath is mother nature’s epidural.
11 am Our lovely MGP midwife asks Dani if she would agree to her first vaginal examination slightly earlier than the 12pm exam that would be requested by the Obstetricians before she makes any decisions. Dani agrees. As the midwife completes the check, a smile beams across her face. She asks Dani if she would like to know her dilation. She does. We are all smiling, and Dani sheds a few tears as our midwife happily shares that Dani has a very thin and stretchy cervix that is around 7-8 cm dilated. Dani proclaims that we are all to ignore her request for an epidural. This Birthing Goddess can now see clearly that she is well on her way to meeting their baby.
Dani has a renewed sense of faith in herself and her ability to birth her baby just as her heart had been hoping she could.
The bath is filled, and Dani has her bladder drained, feeling it may not be emptying.
By 11.40 am the bath is welcoming Dani with relaxing music, the aromatherapy diffuser,
and her favourite colour green - a reflecting light that shines from within the bath.
This quote sums up so perfectly where the end of my story is to lead:
Birth is an opportunity to transcend. To rise above what we are accustomed to, reach deeper inside ourselves than we are familiar with, and to see not only what we are truly made of, but the strength we can access in and through Birth. -- Marcie Macari
A divine presence washes over Dani as she descends into the welcoming and warm arms of the birth pool. With the gas close at hand, Dani has now left us; her body is a vessel that will bring forth life. Her birthing hormones have transported her mind to another realm. When she returns, she will bring her baby with her. Dalton immerses himself into the water and supports Dani under her arms as she freely floats and instinctively moves her hips from side to side to bring her baby down.
11.47 am Dani calmly announces that she can feel her baby isn’t far from coming. Dani is completely relaxed in her birth zone. No one is guiding or telling Dani what to do. This is her body, and she knows she can trust it. We are all bystanders holding her sacred space so she can safely birth her baby undisturbed, in her own way and in her own time.
"There is a power that comes to women when they give birth. they don't ask for it, it simply invades them. accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it."
-Sheryl Feldman
Within 20 minutes of Dani bearing down, we are all in the presence of a miracle as she and Dalton’s baby makes his or her breathtaking debut at 12.19 pm
Welcoming their precious baby up into Dani’s waiting and loving arms, love and joy radiate through the room. They embrace all that birth has gifted them, taking a moment to see who they are meeting. The sweetest little baby boy has joined their family. Baby Dawson was born quite swiftly, and this took him by surprise. After around 5 minutes of cuddles and kisses, Dawson did spend a brief time away from his mummy as the pediatrician helped him along with some extra oxygen. He was then passed back into the bath and reunited with his parents.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
Dawson Richard Poke
Born 10.06.2022
6 pounds 12 ounces of pure cuteness
52cm long
What an honour to have the privilege to be Dani and Daltons Doula. I have loved every moment that I have spent with this wonderful young couple.
We made a great team and we all worked so fluidly and effortlessly together as if we had known each other for years. Dalton, I could see felt comfortable, which enabled him to shine in his role as a wonderful support to Dani. I’m proud of Dani, that goes without saying.
Dani was able to embrace all that birth had to offer her. Dani was brave and courageous, achieving the positive and empowering birth that she had worked so hard to achieve.
I am also proud of Dalton; he was everything Dani needed and hoped he would be and more. There is such as special connection that comes from being wholeheartedly present for your partner. It strengthens the bonds that tie us together and flows through into the next chapter of navigating this new, wonderful rollercoaster of a ride we call parenthood.
As I write this story Dawson is only 10 days old. I can say that Dani, Dalton, Dawson, and fur baby, Albie, are all thriving and loving their new life.
Welcome to the world Dawson Richard Poke, the world is already a better place now that you are in it xxxxI